Scared of Santa – Top 10 Ways Not to Visit Santa

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Who doesn€__t love the time-honored tradition of having their child pictured on Santa€__s lap? Nothing is more cute than to see little Timmy or Sally smiling brightly on Santa€__s lap while sharing their most heart-felt wishes and desires for Christmas morning. Of course, this is the stuff of Hollywood. More often than not, this special event is tainted by the horrifying screams of children forced to sit on a strange man€__s lap while having it documented forever. Documented for your viewing pleasure, I should add.

There are many lists showing large numbers children-scared-of-Santa photographs but I have decided to break it down into scientific categories. After looking through hundreds upon hundreds of frightened children crying on Santa€__s lap I noticed some patterns. My time is your reward as I show you the top 10 Ways Not to Visit Santa. Add your own categories by commenting.

All Santa photos can be clicked to view a larger image.

Bloody Murder Scream

The purest showing of terror: The Bloody Murder Scream. These children held nothing back and let their primal terror be heard. Will the screaming ever end? Not if Jolly Saint Nick has anything to say about it.

The Screaming Choir

Anytime you subject more than one child to a scarring event such as sitting on Santa€__s lap, why not add another child to the fun. Multiple children mean multiple screaming. The unholy cacophony reaches the North Pole.

No Escape

Some Moms are sadistic enough in their blind desire to see their child sit with Saint Nick that they forcibly hold their screaming child in near the red stranger. Hello, Mommy Dearest.

Slip Sliding Away

As all parents know, the young child€__s best escape plans involve the slip-through or the arm raise. This simple maneuver allows the child to slide effortlessly from any grip Santa may have. Let gravity and a limp body do the work.

The Scream and Reach

When screaming and pleading has failed, the next step involves reaching out for help, and so we have the scream and reach. Unfortunately the person who you are reaching for is the one that put you there. You are grasping for straws€__and therapy years later.

What€__s Your Problem?

Sometimes one child is brave enough to smile or they may actually be enjoying this Christmas tradition so much they are either oblivious or don€__t care that their sibling is having a mini-coronary. One child screams and the other wonders what all the ruckus is about. And by the way, the looks on these Santa€__s faces are the best of the bunch.

Scream and Stare

Sometime you scream into the void but sometimes you cannot look away from the horror. Looking at the man in the red hat while crying for the moment to be over may be the longest 2 minutes of your young life. When its over you know you have looked evil in the eye and overcome.

WTF or I Will Not Cry, As God is my Witness€__

These kids have refused to give into the fear, but they still are wrapped in an uneasiness that can€__t be denied. So while the terror that wells within them is trapped, it still lays in their stomachs like cold dead rotting carcass.

I Gotta Get Outta Here

Some brave children know that the only way to avoid the red Satan, I mean Santa, is to run. And run they do, escaping with their lives and, if they are lucky, their sanity. Of course, good ol€__ Mom or Dad will soon be dragging their limp bodies back for more.

This Ain€__t Worth Minimum Wage

Here is a shout out to all the Santa Clauses who have given up after hours upon hours of crying, screaming, wetting, begging, fighting and loud children. The looks on these dejected, worn out and exhausted Santa faces say it all.

And finally, my favorite picture. A face only a mother could love.

Here is a movie with even more great pictures of kids crying at Santa.

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